By My Side
by thescarletwoman
Summary: A songfic to 'By My Side' from the musical Godspell. Hermione can't fall asleep. Something is keeping her from her slumber. A vision makes her fear for Harry's life. She goes out in search of him, but he finds her. A letter is going to change their lives.


_Where are you going?  
Where are you going?  
Can you take me with you?_

Hermione couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed, trying desperately to fall into a peaceful slumber. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, sleep eluded her. 

Rolling onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling of the dormitory. The curtains had been drawn around her bed, shutting out any light that may still linger beyond. She traced the inlaid wood with her eyes, doing anything that she could to fall asleep. 

Something was bothering her, and it wouldn't allow her to sleep. 

For once, Hermione was going to go against her brain and try to sleep. She had class early in the morning and needed to be alert. She needed to sleep now. 

Hermione shut her eyes tightly, willing herself to sleep. When that didn't work, she began to use any trick to tire her always overactive mind. When counting slowly up to 300 didn't work, she began to count backwards. She reached zero and was no closer to falling asleep than when she started. 

_For my hand is cold  
And needs warmth  
Where are you going?_

After an hour of tossing and turning, Hermione gave up. Whatever was keeping her from sleeping was winning its battle. Defeated, Hermione lay back in bed, this time, letting her eyes sweep over the faded pattern in her bed curtains. What was it that was bothering her? She had completed all of her duties this evening as Head Girl. All her work was done for the upcoming week. It wasn't that she forgot to do something; that much she was certain of. 

A flash of green light sprung across her field of vision, followed by the picture of a dark-haired wizard. Hermione sat up in bed, her heart racing. Something was not right. Someone was in trouble or in danger. Was this what was keeping her awake? 

Even from the brief flash of light, Hermione knew who the wizard was. She'd know his face anywhere. 

_'Harry...'_ she thought, closing her eyes briefly, _'what madness is this? Why can't you be free of them? They know your strength... they know your abilities. Yet, they still haunt your every waking moment. And they're in your dreams too. I know you have them, even though you don't tell me. I know everything about you.'_

While the hour was late, Hermione was more alert than ever. She had to go to Harry, no matter what the price was. He could be asleep and they could be coming. He'd have no warning. He could... 

"No, I won't think that," she muttered aloud. "Harry would find a way to survive. He's strong... he's..." 

Hermione trailed off as she climbed out of bed. The clothes she had worn earlier that day were thrown across a chair near her bedside. She quickly changed, tossing her nightgown on the bed. Before she opened her bed curtains, Hermione closed her eyes briefly, willing herself into her other form. 

Two years back, she, Harry and Ron had followed in the footsteps of the Marauders becoming animagi. The three, like their predecessors hadn't registered with the Ministry of Magic. Hermione knew she would have to, if she ever wanted to teach Transfiguration. No matter how Hermione had pleaded with the two to register after they left school, they refused. Harry was the strongest dissenter. 

_"It's my way of keeping my father's memory alive," he had told her one day, "Like father, like son. This is one thing I will stand by forever Hermione. Don't ever ask me to change my mind."_

After that, she had let it drop. She loved him too much to risk losing him over that argument. Besides, she could see his point, even though she disagreed with him. But, Hermione knew he would never take advantage of anyone through the use of being an animagus, so there was no harm, was there? 

With that last thought, a medium sized calico cat crawled out from inside Hermione's enclosed bed and made its way towards the stairs leading down to the Gryffindor common room. She crossed in front of the dark fireplace, making her way towards the portrait hole. She had almost reached the entrance when she heard a noise behind her. 

"I know you're there, Hermione." 

The hair on the back of her neck stood up. She whirled around to see Harry sitting in his chair, looking at her. The light may have been playing tricks with her eyes, but she thought she saw a look of despair in his normally cheerful emerald green eyes. 

_Far beyond where the horizon lies  
Where the horizon lies  
And the land sinks into mellow blueness  
Oh please, take me with you_

Hermione padded across the room and jumped into Harry's lap. She purred softly, trying to give him some bit of comfort. Harry stroked her back absently as he stared into the cooling embers of the fire. 

"Change back," Harry said softly, not looking at her. "I... I need to... to talk to someone..." 

Hearing the slight shake in his voice, Hermione did as he asked. She went to jump down to the ground, but he held onto her in this form. So, she returned to her human form, still sitting in his lap. Now that she was human, Harry pulled her closer to him, burying his face into her chest. 

"Harry... what is it?" she asked softly, running her hand through his always messy hair. 

_Let me skip the road with you  
I can dare myself  
I can dare myself_

"I have to tell you, Mione, before it's too late," Harry replied, his voice still uneven. 

Fear ripped through Hermione's heart, but she refused to see it as anything important. She forced a smile onto her face. "Before what's too late?" Hermione felt a slight shake to her own voice, but she fought to control it. "What could you possibly have to tell me?" 

Harry looked up at her with tear filled eyes. Hermione's breath caught in her throat. She had never seen Harry cry before. Occasionally he would hide behind his glasses when he thought no one was watching, but Hermione always saw. But now... he was openly showing his deepest emotions. 

Gently lifting a hand, Harry caressed Hermione's cheek. He reached up higher and let his fingers get caught in the web of her hair. While it wasn't as wild as it used to be, it still retained some of its original bushy quality. He did all of this painstakingly slowly, gazing into her eyes the entire time. 

"I want you to know that I love you." 

Hermione gasped as tears filled her own eyes. Why did he have to tell her this before it was too late? Too late for what? 

"I always have," Harry continued, untangling his hand from her hair and brushed away the two lone tears from her cheeks. "And I always will. I just wish I could have survived long enough to truly show you how much you mean to me." 

"Harry," she said smiling, "You have all the time in the world for that. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you." Harry looked away, so Hermione continued. "I've been dreaming of the day you would tell me this." She took his face in her hands and turned it to face her once again. "I... I love you too." 

_I'll put a pebble in my shoe  
And watch me walk (watch me walk)  
I can walk and walk!  
(I can walk!)_

Even in his sadness, Harry's heart leapt at those words. The words he had been dying to hear for the past two years when they started dating. He had something to return to. Maybe... just maybe he could overcome the evil. 

Except, last time, it had nearly cost him his life. 

Harry's last battle with Voldemort had nearly killed him. If Sirius had not shown up when he did, Harry knew he would be dead. This time, no one knew that he was going after Voldemort. No one knew that the final showdown was to occur tonight. Harry knew one thing for certain. 

Tonight, one of them would be dead. 

As Harry looked upon Hermione, he didn't want to die. He wanted to live forever. He wanted forever with the woman who sat upon his lap. Why did he have to be the one to defeat Voldemort? Why was he the one with the cursed life? 

"Harry?" Hermione asked softly, pulling Harry away from his thoughts. "Where are you?" 

"I'm here..." he replied, forcing half a smile to his lips. 

She shook her head. "No you're not. You're miles away from me." She caressed his cheek. "What is it?" 

"Why me!?" Harry exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He forgot about Hermione as she tumbled to the ground. He fell to his feet beside her. "I'm sorry, Mione... my mind..." 

Hermione winced. "I know." She stood up gingerly. "See? No harm done." 

Harry didn't hear her. He was pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. As much as Hermione wanted to go to him, she remained where she was. He needed to be alone. 

"Why me!" Harry continued after a moment. "Why do I have to be the one with a cursed life? I couldn't grow up like a normal child. I had to be torn away from my parents, forced to grow up an orphan with a family who treated me like dirt. Those people didn't care if I lived or died. Then I find one last shred of a family, only to have him ripped away from me as well." 

Hermione took a step forward. "Harry, you will always have me. Always." She took another step forward, wrapping her arms around his waist. She looked up at him as he looked away from her. "I know I'm not your family, but I want to be. I love you... doesn't that count for anything?" 

Harry turned back to her, lowering his lips to her own. Hermione was swept away in the kiss. The problems of the world melted away, and all that was left was the two of them. When the kiss ended, Hermione was left breathless. 

"Yes, it counts for everything, Mione," Harry replied, looking into her eyes. "But I don't want you to feel the pain of losing everything as I did." He pulled away and returned to his chair, leaving Hermione standing alone by the cold fireplace. 

_I shall call the pebble Dare  
I shall call the pebble Dare  
We will talk, we will talk together  
We will talk (chorus) about walking_

"Harry, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Hermione threw her hands up in frustration. "Must you speak in riddles? I don't know whether to comfort you or throw a book at you." 

Harry pulled a crumpled piece of parchment from his pocket. "Read this," he said, thrusting the note at her, "everything will make sense after you read it." Hermione walked over to him and took the note. She sat down in a chair across from him and began to unfold it. "The note is from Sirius," he added, his eyes fixed on the last red ember in the fireplace. 

A smile broke out on Hermione's face. "How wonderful! A letter from Sirius. Harry, why would this put you in a foul mood? You love receiving an owl from Sirius." 

"Just read it," Harry muttered. "Skip the commentary." 

"'Harry,'" Hermione read aloud, "'I have missed hearing about how school is going. I can't believe your graduation from Hogwarts is only a few weeks away. I only wish I could attend in my human form. But, since Voldemort is still alive, I cannot. Padfoot will attend, but I will not,'" 

Hermione looked up from her reading. "We figured he wouldn't attend. At least he'll be there in one form. I'd figure you'd be happy about this! Why are you so--" 

"Just keep reading," Harry interrupted. 

"'I have missed you Harry. If you can get away tonight, meet me in the Forbidden Forest. I'll send up green sparks so you know where I am. I just want to talk. I hope you'll be able to make it.' And it's signed, Sirius." Hermione handed the letter back to Harry who looked at it as if it were poison. "Is that what this is all about? You're scared of going into the forest? Harry, we've been to the forest countless times! You can't be--" 

"It's not the forest I'm worried about!" Harry roared. He held the letter tightly in his hand, waving it in front of Hermione's face. Hermione recoiled at Harry's harsh tone. Harry suddenly regained control of his senses. His anger faded away as he sunk back into his chair. "You don't see it, do you?" 

"See... see what Harry?" 

Harry sighed, closing his eyes. "The writing." 

Hermione's eyes grew quite wide. "Let me see the letter again." Harry handed it back to her, and Hermione scanned it once again. "No this isn't Sirius's writing," she said softly. She looked up at Harry once again. "It's close, but not exact." She bit her lower lip. "If it isn't Sirius's, than whose is it?" 

"Tom Riddle's." 

The letter suddenly felt as if it were on fire. Hermione threw it to the ground then rushed to Harry's side, collapsing on the floor in front of him. She rested her head on his knees, blinking back the tears that came to her eyes. 

"I'm going to meet him." 

Hermione's head snapped up at Harry's words. "No..." she whispered, "You can't... I... I won't let you." 

"Mione, I can't hide from him forever." Harry took a deep breath, pausing briefly to regain his composure. "We knew the final battle would be this year. I'm going out to meet him and fight him once and for all." Harry let his hand come to rest on Hermione's head. "I just know that I won't survive this fight. The odds are stacked against me." 

"I can't believe you're talking like this!" Hermione jumped to her feet. "The odds were stacked against you when you were one year old! Yet, you reduced him to a shadow. You knew nothing, and yet managed to defeat one of the most powerful wizards ever. The past few years, you've faced him and have survived. What makes you so sure you'll die tonight?" 

Harry leapt to his feet, his own temper flaring. "May I remind you that the last time I was nearly killed?" 

"Nearly is quite a bit different than was. You're still alive aren't you?" 

"Yes, thanks to Sirius!" Harry yelled, his voice echoing in the common room. "If it wasn't for him, I would be dead!" 

"Quiet!" Hermione hushed, "You'll wake the rest of the house." 

"I don't care if I wake the whole bloody school!" Harry cried. With the stern look from Hermione, he lowered his voice five decibels. "If it wasn't for Sirius, I'd be dead, Mione." Harry sighed as his legs lost the ability to hold him upright. He fell into his chair, his head in his hands. "I'm alone this time. I may defeat Voldemort, but I will never live to tell about it." 

Walking over to Harry's chair, Hermione sank to the floor beside him, taking his hands in her own. She kissed the back of each hand as she held them. 

"But I told you Harry, you're not alone. You have me. I'll stay by your side to the very end. I promise you. I will always be by your side." 

"No!" Harry's eyes flashed briefly with anger. "I won't have you there! You will stay here." 

Hermione shook her head. "I refuse to stay here and worry about you. I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not. Now go upstairs and get the cloak." 

Much against his own will; Harry found himself climbing the stairs to his own dormitory. From the sounds of the snores in the room, Harry was the only one still awake. 

After retrieving the cloak from his trunk, Harry cast one last look at Ron's bed. The redhead would be rather pissed in the morning, when he discovered that Harry had gone without him. But, Harry knew it was for Ron's own good. He had so much to live for. After graduation, Ron would be a Beater for the Cannons. Harry couldn't sacrifice Ron's one chance for happiness. Harry knew his friend would understand somehow. 

Pulling out a quill, Harry scribbled a quick not to Ron. 

_Ron,  
I know you'll be mad when you wake up, but I had to do this. Voldemort has sent a note to me under the guise of a letter from Sirius. The final battle will be tonight, and I must face it alone. Hermione found me just before I set out, and is insisting that she come with me. I love her Ron... I really do. But, I know I won't live out the night. Please, take care of her in my absence. You were my first friend in the Wizarding World, and I am forever grateful to you. I know this will hurt you, but you have your whole life ahead of you. I only wish we could have played for the Cannons together. We would have been a great team. You are the brother I never had, Ron, and I will love you forever. _

Harry 

After signing his name, Harry left the note on his pillow; sure that Ron would find it in the morning. As Harry turned towards the stairs leading back to the common room, he felt his heart grow heavy in his chest. How he wished none of this had ever happened. He could be a wizard and not have evil breathing down his back. 

But, this was his destiny. His sacrifice would ensure that evil would be vanquished... at least for now. Evil would always live in the world. Nothing could be done to change that. But, at least the world would be safe from Voldemort's clutches, and that was what mattered. 

If only... 

Harry rubbed his temples, trying to rid himself of the thought. There was no time to think of what could have been. The children he and Hermione would have had. The chance to grow old together... Harry closed his eyes. A dream that would never come true. 

_'Just think of what your sacrifice will mean, Harry,'_ he thought to himself. _'Both the Wizarding World and the Muggle World will be safe. Your life will save the lives of thousands. It is time to finish the work your parents started eighteen years ago.'_

And with a deep breath to calm him, Harry stepped towards the stairs. 

_Dare shall be carried  
And when we both have had enough  
I will take him from my shoe, singing:  
"Meet your new road!"_

Harry returned a few moments later, carrying his father's invisibility cloak. The sadness had returned to his eyes and Hermione cringed at the sight. She crossed the room and kissed him briefly. 

"I can't talk you out of this?" He asked, his voice dropping with each word. 

Hermione shook her head. "No. You could try, but it wouldn't work. I'm coming with you." 

"Mione, I don't want you involved in this. I don't want you to see me--" Harry broke off, unable to say the words. The slight gasp from Hermione told him he had said enough. 

"Harry, listen to me." Hermione took a deep breath. There was no turning back now. "There's nowhere I'd rather be, than by your side. If..." her voice wavered slightly as she spoke, "if this is to be your final night. I want to be with you. You don't have to go on alone ever again." 

The green-eyed wizard sighed as he held up the cloak. "I figured as much. Come, I want to be in the forest before the meeting time. I need to catch him by surprise if I can." 

Hermione put a finger to his lips. "I understand." she kissed him briefly on the lips. "That is for luck." She snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. She felt his body melt against her own. 'If only there had been more time, ' she thought with a sigh. They pulled away from each other. 

"And that is because I love you, Harry James Potter. And you don't need luck to defeat him. I have faith in you. You can defeat him once and for all." 

_Then I'll take your hand  
Finally glad   
Finally glad  
That you are here  
By my side_

The two reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Somewhere, within the depths of the trees, Harry knew Voldemort lurked. He just had to pray that luck would be on his side this night. That he would find Voldemort before Voldemort found him. 

He had wanted to go in alone, but as he looked at the woman beside him, Harry was glad for the company. The warmth of her hand in his gave him a sudden strength. He could face any daemon and be victorious. He had her love. 

The last time he faced Voldemort, his mother's love was on his side. This time, he had the love of a different woman. He had to believe that the love of his soul mate would be strong. As he looked over at Hermione one last time, he saw the determination in her eyes. He steeled his own resolve as he stared into the misty darkness of the forest ahead of him. 

"Are you ready?" Harry asked. 

There was a slight pause before she answered. "Yes." 

Together, they took the first step into the woods beyond. Whatever the danger, they would face it together. 

_By my side  
By my side  
By my side_


End file.
